A Wonderful Driver

Posted: July 11th, 2014 - 11:32:18 PM
Views: 4,712
So back in college my friend Katey and I were driving down the road in good spirits. We pull up at a red light behind a big truck that has one of those 1-800 numbers that ask the all important question "How's my driving?" So I told Katey to dial it on her cell phone. Katey did so and I could hear the operator's rasping, long-term cigarette inhaling, complain receiving voice over the phone. Needless to say she did not seem all that gleeful. So I tell Katey to say a few specific things and it goes a little something like this:

Katey: "Hello, I'm behind truck #1029"
Operator: "Yes ma'am?"
Katey: "I'd just like to say he is driving magnificently!"
Operator: "He is? Really? Oh, well that's good."
Katey: "Oh yes, he's making me feel safe just being on the same road. He is truly a credit towards your company!"
Operator: "Well that's wonderful!"
Katey: "Yes, I am very happy with his driving coordination and I dare say that I will be shopping more frequently at your wonderful establishments in the near future!"

At this point (and I'm not making this up) the truck that we'd been bragging about runs the red light, almost hits another car and speeds away. Needless to say we were shocked. Before I thought better of it I said in a voice far too loud:

Holy shit! The truck just ran that red light!

At that point I hear the operator in her original raspy and unhappy tone say "...thank you for calling" and hung up. What are the chances that someone would actually call up to brag about his driving and then during that once-in-a-lifetime compliment he turns into a reckless driver? I think he just did it to make my story better. Mission accomplished.
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