I Love to Laugh

Posted: August 1st, 2014 - 10:39:19 AM
Views: 2,449
So if you've ventured into the dating world of online dating and you're a male you'll no doubt have noticed that every single female has two common things in their profile:

"I love to laugh"
"I'm very sarcastic"


What a waste of text in a profile. I see it time and time again and it's just mind numbing. It's almost as if each dating site automatically inserts that text into people's profiles to help the rest of the known world realize that these people are not in fact robots. Let's look at each statement a little more closely.

I love to laugh is quite possibly the most redundant thing to ever write in a dating profile. Here you are, trying to look your best. You've got that pretty dress on, you're in the bathroom taking a closeup selfie of your breasts and it strikes you "what if this person doesn't realize I enjoy laughter?" Well of course you've got to ensure that your possible soulmate doesn't incorrectly assume that you are disgusted when you laugh, that your own laughter does not repulse you and make you want to club baby seals. Quite obviously there are so many of your dating competitors that do not like laughter and they conversely write in their profile "I will piss of the embers of our love should you even so much as giggle at a joke." Seriously though, why not simply put "I think a man with a sense of humor is very attractive" that would just sound so much more sensible and intelligent then saying that it makes you happy to do something that makes you happy. derp.

I'm very sarcastic this one is a little less obvious and that's fine. Sarcasm is a relative term. Some would call me very sarcastic, others may say 'not so much' so it's relative value is massively dependent on the source of the information. I do believe that if you say 'I am very sarcastic' in your dating profile it should be followed up with something bordering on... that's right, sarcasm! I've done my homework here, I've talked to people, went out on dates and a lot of people do in fact, have sarcasm. It would be far more noteworthy to say that "I am void of sarcasm" and then I'd have a little bit more useful information to go on.

The people that are really sarcastic tend not to mention it. It's like a secret morse code to the other people that are sarcastic. They hide this code in their profile embedded in tons of sarcasm. If you read that person's profile and say "wow, that person is kind of a dick" chances are you didn't break the code and you're not as sarcastic as you thought you were. Coupled that with the fact that you didn't laugh (and we all know you love to), it's probably not a good match for you anyways.

It's also important to note that I am entirely hypocritical. I have messaged females that have said all of these things, multiple times. Why? Weren't you reading? Because they all say it. You gotta work with what you got and chances are it doesn't really reflect on that person's character at all. "Then why bitch about it?" you say? Because I'm sarcastic. Christ, have you not been following along?

To those special, elite few, who let their sarcasm speak for them and actually make me laugh out loud as I read through their profiles: I salute you. I would have messaged you but I was too busy loving my laughter and couldn't compose myself to send a sarcastic message.
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