Online Dating Icebreaker: Helpy Helperton

Posted: July 28th, 2014 - 12:59:26 AM
Views: 5,608
So this girl had a pretty fun profile but at the end she said that she could never figure out how to fill in the "You should message me if" section. So I felt I was obligated to help. This is what I gave her to finish her profile:

You should message me if:

If you think you could take me in a Thunderdome style battle to the death while toting a small midget around on your back and screaming something about blue crayons. Despite everyone in the audience thinking you sound like an absolute moron about the blue crayon thing, you just keep going, looking like a tool and then you trip on some piece of metal because you were so singularly fixated on the blue crayon thing (i mean seriously, what the fuck is up with god damned blue crayons?!!?) and fall. Now the midget is pissed off and he's talking shit and the last thing anyone wants here is a shit-talking midget. So you unhook the midget and talk down to him (literally and figuratively) to let him know who's boss but throughout this entire time I'm totally sitting around going "Do i even get to fight this guy?" and you just look at me and scream "BLUE CRAYYYONNNNS" which leads me to believe you're actually like the "special" guy from Thunderdome and then the reference finally makes sense and all is well.

Circle of fucking life, yo.

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