Dating Horror Story: You like that, don't you?

Posted: July 28th, 2014 - 12:10:20 AM
Views: 5,450
Everyone has heard some online dating horror stories and one of my favorite things to do is inquire about them to the people I know or who I've met. This one comes from a good friend about an adventure she had when she went out on a date with a guy named Hal. Here we go...

So the night was going well. There was no real romance and that was sufficient for my friend up until that point. They get into the car and Hal asks if my friend would like to hear a sample of his singing. My friend (being the nice person that she is) says "that would be lovely" and then Hal breaks out a CD and starts it up. Apparently Hal was quite the gifted opera singer and he had done some pretty solid stuff. They listened for a few minutes, my friend was impressed. There was no doubt the man could sing Then, all of the sudden the overhead light turns on to reveal Hal's manliness that had, through some amazing fit of misfortune, broke free of his incarceration in Hal's underwear. My friend looks down at Hal's member, Hal looks up at her and says (and I quote):

"Ahhh, you like that, don't you?"

Now Hal was a grown ass man, not some 20 year old kid that doesn't understand that cocks weren't meant to roam free during opera exhibitions and with his smug look on his face, his dick on the outside of his pants, the loud opera music and from what I would have to assume were some old ass balls, my friend did the only sensible thing, she laughed.

She didn't just chuckle, oh no sir, this was a full body snorting kind of laughter. The kind that makes a person's stomach hurt and she had to extricate herself from the car due to her unease at just how hard she was laughing. Now I don't know about you and I can't say I've employed this all-too-romantic tactic on an unsuspecting lady but I would have to assume that this doesn't do much for a man's self confidence. I'm fairly sure Hal felt a little smaller (figuratively and literally) after the whole thing played out. My friend ended up taking a cab and that was that.

She later theorized that he had to have a name for his member but she didn't stick around to find out. Apparently she would see him from time to time with a date and she'd just say "ahhh, you like that, don't you?" and oddly enough, it did not invigorate Hal with laughter.

Some people just don't understand genius. Hal was a trailblazer and we should all be so brave as to indulge women's fantasies of grown-ass men, opera singing, cock and/or balls. I for one salute Hal for his staunch contribution in the face of adversity (and laughter). Now if I could only find some opera on iTunes my "salute" would be much more rigid.

Nonetheless, what a great story. Thanks anonymous friend of mine!
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