Online Dating Icebreaker: Hunids

Posted: July 13th, 2014 - 10:52:23 PM
Views: 5,416
So from time to time I like to write people on dating sites absurd ice breakers that most likely won't get a reply. Sometimes their profile just asks for it. So on this particular female's profile said very bluntly that she didn't wanna see thugs with "hunids and hunids of bills". She also said she enjoyed a man with creativity. This was my icebreaker:

So I was just sitting around on a Monday night thinking about how I could properly bling up my teef with diamonds and gold fillins and then I saw your profile. After I put down my 40, I called my boy Rico and was all like 'Yo, I found a chick that paints all kinds o shit'. Rico was properly impressed and afterwards he came over my place to take a peep. After my mums yelled at him to keep it down cause its so late, Rico done saw you on the computer. He was like 'DAMN MAN, she's fine yo!' and then he said a whole bunch of shit that I didn't understand but I didn't wanna look the fool so I simply nodded vigorously. I then had Rico help me out with which penis pic to send you but Rico got a little too involved in the process and made me pretty uncomfortable. I told him to cut that shit out and made his ass leave. Later I decided that none of my current penis pictures properly conveyed the depth of emotions I was feeling so I figured I'd take a new one for you. Fuckin foiled again! The phone on my camera is all jacked so I had to think creativity, I mean I wouldn't want to offend you by not sending you a picture of my manliness. So anyways, couldn't take a picture but I remember my mums had a scanner.

So the scanner was a fucking horrible idea. Needless to say I will not be sending you a picture of Thor tonight. I didn't foresee that the scanner had a 'snap' mechanism and well, I think this may ruin my game for at least the next few days. I feel a little betrayed by technology and somewhat sad for all the women who will not be graced with my pictures for the coming week.

Anyways, I just felt an explanation was in order for why's I didn't send a proper pic and I hopes to talk to you later. PEACEEEEEEEEEE PLAYAAAAAAAA

Number of replies: 1

She did reply, just once to say "lol". Then alas, she had taken my words, used them to her own designs and then cast me into the wind with no further contemplation. It's a rough thug life.
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