My Best Man Speech

Posted: July 13th, 2014 - 10:45:29 PM
Views: 5,300
I went to a wedding last year as the best man to a very dear friend. I took my best man speech very seriously so I toasted my friend with a few laughs at his expense. Which, now that I think about it, kind of sums up our childhood relationship. Here ya go:

So we're here to celebrate the union of Justin and Leticia (and what a lovely couple they make). While I've only known beautiful Leticia for the very briefest of times, I have known Justin for much, much longer and while you now look at the all-too-studly man before you, I thought it would be fun to look back on Justin's childhood from the eyes of a very close friend.

Athletic, good looking, tidy, clever and fun. Keep in mind we're still actually talking about Leticia here. Justin on the other hand was skinny, quiet and terribly bad at talking to women. We used to go to the skating ring together thinking we would talk to all the pretty girls, you know, be super cool. Oh and we did, that is, if you consider hanging out by the arcade games, drinking slurpies and being too petrified to engage females in even the briefest form of conversation. "Um... excuse me, do you have the time?" "8:30" "Thanks!" "NICE ONE BUDDY, YEAH!" I just made that part up, that never happened, we never even got that far.

Justin eventually grew up to be quite a good looking man, or, you know, so I've been told. On no less than three occasions I introduced him to girls I was trying to impress only to find that Justin impressed them far more with his good looks than I did with all of my charm. That sucked. Thanks bro. Nonetheless he kind of looks like Justin Timberlake, except JT can dance and as you're about to witness, it's not a common trait between them.

Alas, my very dear friend was stolen from me after high school by the marines. We'd keep in touch through short letters to inform each other on how our lives were going. He'd talk about how super buff he was getting, coughLIEScough and I'd tell him how boring college was. Justin is a very good humored man and thankfully forgiving, because he eventually forgave me when I sent a letter in boot camp, in an envelope sealed with a rainbow sticker and the accompanying words of "be proud of who you are" on the outside.

Now I may be standing here as the "best" man but it takes a truly special man to put up with an asshole like me for his entire life. That man, is Jason Young. Er, Justin, Justin Young.

All joking aside, Justin and Leticia are a beautiful couple and I feel very fortunate to witness their lives evolve. Please, give these two your warm regards and remember this moment as I'm sure, I always will.
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